


Benji´s dark secret

by Carokation



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies), Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (2015)
Genre: Benji needs a hug, Benjiwhump, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hidden Injury, Post-Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (2015), Pre-Relationship, dark secret, poolparty, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23705860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carokation/pseuds/Carokation
Summary: Set a few days after Rogue nation.Benji, Ethan, Luther and Will come together for a little pool party, to celebrate the successful ending of their mission, the caption of Lane. The latter three take bets about when Benji will take off his shirt during the rather hot day, not knowing that there´s a serious reason why he wouldn´t. Benji meanwhile struggles to keep up his semblance of happiness as the day goes on.
Relationships: Benji Dunn/Ethan Hunt
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	Benji´s dark secret

**Author's Note:**

> I added a Benji/Ethan relationship label for good measure, but really it´s a pre-relationship label. They are some slightly fluffy moments, though.

It was a warm and sunny day and when Benji was walking around the house into the big garden, to meet his teammates. Will, the owner of the place, was dripping wet when he approached Benji, greeting him happily – obviously he just had been in the pool for a swim. “Nice to see you, and thanks for the invitation” Benji said to him warmly before turning towards the others. 

He noted Luther maintaining the grill, wearing shorts and a barbecue apron. Ethan, lounging by the pool, wore swimming trunks like Will and had sunglasses on. In fact, Benji was the only one wearing not only shorts or swimming trunks (grill apron not counting), but also a white t-shirt. The invitation has said “pool party” after all. 

“Hey Benji!” Luther called cheerfully, waving his hand and making no intention of leaving his precious grill. “Hey Luther!” Benji called back good humouredly, while making his way towards the edge of the pool, where Ethan was getting up from his lounger. Looking good as always, the latter one looked at him closely for a second, before taking him in for a friendly hug. 

“Good to see you, Benji,” Ethan smiled, making Benji nearly blush. “Yeah, good to see you too,” he replied, patching him awkwardly on his shoulder, before taking a step back to look more closely around the site. “Nice garden!” he complimented Will, who was standing nearby, drying himself off with a big white bath towel. “Yeah, thanks to the pool,” he answered proudly, clearly fond of it. “You want a beer? I was just going to fetch some from the kitchen.” “Yeah, sure,” Benji replied before turning to Ethan again. 

“So, what´s up?” he asked his teammate, starting a casual conversation. Ethan shrugged his shoulders. “Not much. It´s been awfully quiet the last few days.” “So, you actually managed to come here without crashing a car or catching a bad guy?” Benji said in an unbelieving voice, teasing him a little. Ethan laughed out loud, causing a pleasant feeling to run through Benji. He just loved to hear Ethan´s laugher. Then Ethan started to ask him random light-hearted questions, with Luther soon joining in on the conversation.

Not much later Will was returning, handing each of them a bottle of beer. “To us and our successful mission,” he said his toast. Of course, the others now had to add theirs. “To catching Lane in a glass box,“ Ethan was joining in, grinning gleefully in remembrance, not noticing how Benji slightly flinched when hearing the name of his kidnapper. “Yeah, to catching that damn guy and making the world a better place,” Luther added. Now they all looked to Benji. “Uh, to our great team,” Benji said, cringing internally at how lame it sounded and hoping that no one had seen him flinching. 

Thankfully, they all joyfully drank their beer and kept smiling happy smiles after his toast so he guessed they didn´t. In the following conversation, Benji wandered off a bit, choosing a deck chair to sit on and look over the pool, which was sparkling nicely in the afternoon sun. Keeping one ear on their conversation, he heard them jokingly mocking about his clothing a little later. Sometimes they were such girls, lamenting about everything (although mostly not taking it seriously). Now they were speaking in lower voices, so he couldn´t hear them anymore. Great, that sounded like they were up to something. As he knew them, they were probably making some more or less hilarious bets. He just hoped these bets had nothing to do with him wearing a shirt despise the heat of the day. He dreaded the day when one of them would find out about his secret, hopefully it wouldn´t be today. 

It would be such a shame to ruin a lovely day like this and he always loved their company, especially Ethan´s., although he found it hard to say why he liked him more than the others. Maybe it was his beaming smile or his confident manner or even his cool and melodious voice. He tried not to thing about how good looking he was – it would lead to a dangerous terrain. He couldn´t resist frequently sneaking looks at him, though. Of course, he always made sure to let his eyes wander on around the others and over the surrounding area, too, so it wouldn´t look like he was stalking him or something. You could never be enough careful in the present of such good agents, after all.

The smell of grilled tomatoes and sausages filled his nostrils, making his belly growl. Benji hadn´t been eating so well since the end of their missions, skipping meals more often then usually. Truthfully, he hadn´t done anything so well at all, waking up in the middle of nearly any other night did that to you.

When Will and Luther brought out dishes to prepare the garden table for their meal, Ethan having replaced Luther on the grill, Benji quietly joined them. He was glad to be able to do something which didn´t require him to talk much. At one point, he caught Ethan looking thoughtfully at him and gave him a big smile. He didn´t want him, or any of the others to worry about him. They all had been through a lot in the past time, not only him, so he mustn´t be another source of concern.

After the dinner, which went smoothly and was delicious, Will and Ethan went for a swim in the pool, while Luther, who wasn´t much of a pool person, picked up a beer and a magazine and settled in a pool lounger, sighting loudly and enjoying his well-deserved relaxation after having stood at the grill for the most time. Benji followed him, taking the lounger on his left, closer to the edge of the pool.  
“Don´t you want to join the others, kiddo? I´m sure Brandt would gladly lend you a pair of swimming shorts,” Luther asked him. “And you sure look like you could use a little bit of fun,” Luther added more seriously, clearly having notices Benji’s rather pale and tired appearance. “Nah, I´m good. It´s way more fun to watch them chasing each other, anyway.” Benji told him, smirking a little.

He wishes he had brought his sunglasses, like Ethan had. Why had he forgotten them? They would have been perfect to hide the dark circles around his eyes resulting from his lack of sleep.  
As time went on, Benji eventually closed his eyes, enjoying to hear the laugher from Will and Ethan, who were now splashing water at each other. He was trying not to fall asleep, opening an eye now and then, to see how the pool fight was going on, but it was getting harder and harder to stay awake.

Suddenly, something cold and wet hit his face, startling him out of his doze and making him nearly fall out of his deck chair. Cursing, he leaned back again, while Ethan and Will were laughing their heads off and even Luther was grinning madly. “Haha, very funny!” he shouted out, making a pouty face at them. “Come on in Benji, it´s nice and cool!” Ethan called to him, looking up at him blinking drops of water out of his dark green eyes, which were looking forbiddingly beautiful in the late afternoon sunlight. 

“No way!” Benji shouted back, demonstratively folding his arms. 

“Oh, come on, you could join our water battle, I need you on my side! With us two united against him, he will fail miserably, don´t you want to see him loose for once?” now Will joined the banter, trying to persuade him with a more logical approach.

“I´m going to drink a beer now and I will NOT go into the pool, just accept it,” Benji said to him, while standing up and strolling over to where Will earlier had put a cooled box of beers in the shadow of a tree. Seriously, Will and Ethan were starting to get on his nerves. When he walked back to his cosy lounger, Ethan and Weill had actually gotten out of the pool and where circling him now. He looked at them unapprovingly, keeping an especially keen eye on Will, who was left of him on the side facing away from the pool, since he could potentially give him a push into the letter. While he didn´t thought that they would do that while he had a freshly opened beer in his hands, you never knew with these guys. 

What he didn´t see, though, was that they laid something in the way on the ground, to make him stumble so they could catch him off guard. When that happened, all it needed was a little push from Will and a little pull from Ethan (just grabbing his arm, the bastard), and he landed in the pool with a huge SPLASH, momentarily sinking into the water until pushing up again through the surface of the pool, spitting out water. His beer bottle popped up not far from him, as if wanting to tell him a message, like “see, even I swim in the pool, don´t be such a spoilsport!” If bottles could talk, that is. 

Also, it turned out that Ethan was right, the water really was astonishingly cool, it even caused him to shiver a bit after having been bathing, or more like baking in the sun for quite a while (there was no shadow anywhere near the pool). But sadly, that didn´t help to lift the veil of dread off him which he was suddenly feeling stronger than ever. He would have to make some quick excuses to vanish into the house to lend some dry clothes soon, and hurry there before anyone could see anything trough the soaking wet white t-shirt (why did he have to choose the white one of all?). Even if he thought it wasn´t likely that they would notice something as they would have to look very for that, he didn´t want to take any chances. 

For now, he just swam to the edge, letting only his head and arms come out of the water. “Are you happy now?” he asked into the round with a somewhat upset voice, struggling to keep it sound normal or even close to happy-go-lucky. The others were exchanging confused looks, clearly not understanding the sudden change of his mood. 

“Hey Benji, we thought you would find it funny,” Ethan said to him with a much softer voice than before. Benji just shot him a sad smile and shrugged his shoulders. Will and Ethan climbed back into the pool but luckily refrained from continuing their water battle, just swimming around instead, since their joyous mood was somewhat subdued now. 

Benji cautiously took a few rounds himself, while paying attention to keep a sufficient distance from the others. Which soon became harder, when Ethan began swimming directly towards him. He did a U-turn, swimming back towards the other side of the pool, but now had to dodge Will instead, who looked at him funnily, before changing a look with Ethan again. Benji hurried to swim around him, before they would get the great idea of cornering him, but it was to late. Now it was only the question if they would corner him in the middle of the pool or along the edge, so he chose the latter, being joined by Will and Ethan left and right of him in a matter of seconds. Luther was meanwhile watching the whole drama, obviously it was more interesting than his magazine, which he had laid aside. 

“Benji...,” Will started a bit unsure, looking at Ethan for support. “What´s up with you?” Ethan asked him very softly, looking deeply into his eyes and laying his hand on Benji´s shoulder. Damn, the only good thing about being in the water was that it hid his now wobbly feeling legs. “Nothing!” Benji said a little too quickly. The way they looked at him, they clearly didn´t believe him. “um, I just… I just don´t feel so well today,” Benji didn´t knew what else to tell them. “I guess I will hit the road soon, maybe I´m getting a flu or something,” he added for good measure. 

“You should get out of the pool then. You´re freezing!” Will noticed worriedly. “Can I lend a few clothes from you, from the house?” Benji asked slowly. “Yeah, sure! I will fetch some for you and a bath towel,” he said, losing no time to climb out of the pool. “Wait, I can get them myself,” Benji started to protest, but Will was just shaking his head, already walking towards the house. 

“Come on, you should warm up on a pool lounger while the sun is still up, until Will comes back.” Ethan clapped his back, starting to climb out of the pool and half dragging Benji with him so he had no choice but to follow. Ethan wasn´t letting him go anywhere, dragging him straight to the nearest lounger and waited for him to settle there. Benji hastily laid done, crossing his arms in front of him again, hopefully he could use the bath towel to cover his chest when Will was back.

“Better get rid of that wet shirt,” Luther commented to his right. When Benji made no move, Ethan raised an eyebrow. “Better do what he said, or I will do it,” he threatened. 

Damn, this was exactly what he did not want to happen, Benji thought desperately. Now he would have to buy time. “Will will be back soon anyway, no need to stress,” he protested lamely, still not moving a finger. Ethan sighted in expiration, then stretched out his arm to grab Benji´s shirt, his patience clearly running out.

“No!” Benji called out, jumping up from the lounger to get away from Ethan. Before he could run, though, Ethan managed to grab him and took off his shirt in one fluent move. From that moment, everything seemed to happen in slow-motion: Ethan saw the terrible scars on Benji´s chest, building the words “LANE´S PET” in big letters, from under his collarbone reaching down to just over his belly, still looking red and angry. 

He gasped loudly, unwillingly taking back a step from the horrible sight, which caused Luther to look up and widen his eyes in shock. No more need to hide now, Benji thought sadly, sagging his shoulders. In that moment, he heard a horrified gasp and a plop from somewhere behind Ethan – Will had just come out of the house, dropping his pile of clothes and turned pale when he saw Benji´s chest. 

After a few seconds of shocked silence, which felt like years to Benji, Ethan took a deep breath, saying “Oh my god, Benji, I´m so sorry!” before taking a step closer to him again and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him carefully, tenderly even. In any other situation, being hugged like that from Ethan would´ve felt like being in heaven, but now, he just felt like crying, even if it was calming him to some degree. 

Despite the slight wetness of his eyes, stinging with unshed tears, Benji, from looking over Ethan’s shoulder, saw Will picking up the clothes and towel. He then slowly walked towards them, setting down the pile on a dry lounger nearby and looked at Benji with a sorrowful expression. He then joined Luther a few meters away, giving them space. Benji, still being hugged by Ethan, thankfully smiled at Will and Luther, glad that they were holding back, letting their team leader comfort him. He felt the warmth and comfort of Ethan´s body slowly chasing away some of the coldness he was still feeling despite the day being still warm, if not quite as hot as a few hours ago. 

“You´re still trembling,” Ethan said after a long while, disentangling himself from Benji and looking into his eyes ones more. He softly brushed away a strand of hair from Benji´s face and let his hand rest on his shoulder for a second, smiling at him reassuringly, before briefly turning to pick the bath towel from Will´s pile. Then he carefully wrapped it around Benji, rubbing his arms as he did so. 

The strange tension being broke, Luther and Will now slowly made their way to their friend, stopping two meters in front of him. Luther began speaking first: “Next time you get injured in whatever way, please tell us, we are there to support you! And I can speak for everyone when I say I hate to see you hurting. The sooner you tell us, the more we can help you!” he looked him firmly into his eyes, before glancing at Will.

“Whenever you want to talk to us, we will be there. No matter the time or place,” Will added to him in his characteristic honestly manner. 

“Thank you,” Benji said to them earnestly. “And you, Ethan!” he added a bit louder, smiling weakly at his Idol and biggest friend, well actually really more than that, but he wouldn´t open that box now.

Benji was so glad that none of his dear friends and fellow agents were mentioning Lane or even hinting at him since they discovered his dark secret, as he wasn´t sure he could take it at this moment. Instead, they were supporting him in a lovely and unobtrusive way which was doing wonders for his aching soul. 

They really were the best and if he had known they would react like this, he would´ve even thought about telling them. Their reactions had shown him that he could rely to them in any way, even if that meant sharing his darkest demon with them, instead of letting it eat away his body and soul. It still would take a lot of time for his scars to heal, but they had his back.

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my first work in this fandom, so I hope you liked it.  
> I´ve written Benji to be quite vulnerable, which may be slightly out of character, but I just love a good whump. Please tell me what you think of this.


End file.
